My first Yes for the Yes Quest was saying Yes to the Yes Quest! Yup, I got an endorphin boost just from getting my spreadsheet started. Sure, it was a ‘gimme,’ like the free X in the middle of a bingo card. But still, I was excited. Even though this wasn’t a competition (sadly, no prizes), I was all in on the challenge of filling in as many rows of Yes activities as possible.
When productivity expert Laura Vanderkam came up with the idea for the Yes Quest—a challenge to track all the times you say yes over a few weeks—I was all in. A fun challenge AND a tracker tool? Are you kidding me? Sign me up!
By the way, I also filled out the scavenger hunt sheet at the Imagine Museum last Friday. While some people are embarrassed by playing games designed for schoolchildren, I will always participate, even when not on an official Yes Quest.
Where Are the Yeses Hiding?
Here’s the thing, though. As I started tracking my Yes activities, I realized something weird: I’m not being asked for much anymore.
Back in the day, my life was full of Yes moments. My kids were little and needed help with everything. At work, there were endless emails, last-minute tasks, and meetings.
But now? I’m retired. My kids are grown and super independent. My grandkids are teenagers and have their own long lists of activities. Even Mom, who recently moved into assisted living, doesn’t need much from me. This is absolutely amazing! So why do I have this uncomfortable feeling? Am I no longer valuable or relevant?
It’s like I’ve entered the “nobody’s asking me for favors” phase of life. On the one hand, yay! I’ve got time for movies, dinners, travel, and all the fun stuff. But on the other hand…it’s kind of weird to not feel needed.
Oh! I just remembered that often when friends DO ask me for favors, I often have to say “I can’t” because I’m too busy traveling and doing all that fun stuff. Then the guilt sets in.
DIY Challenges
Since no one’s asking me for much these days, I’ve become pretty good at challenging myself. I volunteer, I take classes, I exercise, I try new things. I’m always on the lookout for ways to grow or step out of my comfort zone.
But as I worked on my Yes Quest spreadsheet, I started wondering: Am I still growing in the same way if the challenges are all self-imposed? There’s something special about the kind of Yes that comes from being asked by someone else.
The Harder Yeses
As I reflected on this, I realized the biggest challenges in retirement aren’t about doing more—they’re about doing less. Slowing down, accepting limits, and letting go of being needed. Those are the real growth moments these days.
Here are the Yeses I’m working on now:
- Yes to slowing down. It’s hard when you’re used to being busy, but sometimes the best thing is a quiet night at home with a book or a Netflix movie.
- Yes to asking for help. I like helping my friends, but it’s a lot harder to ask for help. I’m grateful for my Yes-saying friends who make it easy for me to ask them for help when I need it.
- Yes to not being needed. This is the big one. It’s a shift to accept that my family doesn’t rely on me the way they used to. But it’s also a blessing—they’re independent, and I’ve got time to focus on myself and others who do need help.
- Yes to letting go of guilt when I say ’No.’ My friends and family know that I love them even when I say No.
- Yes to acceptance. Whether it’s letting go of disappointment when someone says no to me or accepting that I can’t do as much as I once could, this is the Yes I’ll probably be working on forever.
Still Growing
The Yes Quest reminded me that growth doesn’t stop when you retire—it just changes. These days, it’s less about juggling a million responsibilities and more about finding joy and purpose in this new phase of life.
So, what about you? What would you say yes to this week? (And if it’s a scavenger hunt or a fun challenge, let me in on it! Gotta get it on the Yes Quest spreadsheet!)