My guest this week is Wendy Chalmers Mill, a fellow volunteer at Action for Happiness. We met virtually at a volunteer meeting and discovered we have quite a lot in common.
As we chat about in the podcast episode, meeting via a virtual community is a great way to find some new friends during these crazy days. One of the main reasons I even started this podcast is that I knew it would prompt me to meet some like-minded new friends!
I hit the jackpot in my search for the right guest to talk about Relating when I found Wendy. Not only is she the CEO for Positive Performance, but she started a new community The Wisdom Witches, with the very aim of creating a safe space for connecting during the pandemic.
Wendy, a Humanology Expert, along with her fellow wisdom witches Hazel and Kelly, are described on the Wisdom Witches site this way:
“They collectively have over 100 years of experience in guiding and motivating others to become their best selves through improved connection to their own and others’ wisdom and wellbeing.”
Tune into this week’s podcast or the YouTube video to learn more about Wendy and her insights on social connection and her experience with the Wisdom Witches.
How are you fostering social connection these days? Are you the part of any virtual communities?
The first of those 10 keys is Giving. This worked out perfectly because the first guest I wanted to have on Season 3, Kelly Guyon, was someone I “met” because she gave me a beautiful and special Christmas card.
In this episode, we talk about the Reddit Gift Exchange which is a unique way of giving and receiving from someone you don’t know (yet!)
There are a few things that really make this Secret-Santa-like exchange more fun and reliable than what you’d imagine. First, you can find out about your recipient’s tastes through their profile. Second, Reddit steps you through the process including how you can post a photo once you receive your gift. This allows you to publicly thank your thoughtful Secret Santa.
This was the Thank You from the “wine and cheese ornament” that I sent to “Really_Cool_Noodle”My Glittery Card from Kelly, who is my guest on my Carpe Diem Connections Podcast!
If you want to participate, you don’t have to wait all the way until next Christmas. RedditGifts has a variety of Gift Exchanges throughout the year!
If social media or gift exchanges is not your thing, though, there are lots of ways to give, which has been proven to increase happiness, both for the giver and the receiver!
Smiling, texting, leaving a positive comment, a phone call, or any little acts of kindness will boost happiness.
When I tell people I’m an Agile coach, most people look skeptical – or at least confused. (I can be quite awkward in athletic endeavors.) The “Agile” adjective, in this case, refers to a philosophy and project management system that helps teams with productivity in the midst of change and uncertainty.
Without going into a big lecture answering the question “What is Agile?” (you’re welcome), I’ll just highlight a few of the concepts which might help you with your New Year’s goals during these very uncertain times.
And let’s face it, we are always facing changes and uncertainty, so you’ll probably find this is a better way to work with New Year’s Resolutions every year!
Break Your Goals into Iterations
One BIG problem with New Year’s resolutions is that a year is way too long to commit to a detailed goal. Too many things might derail your plan. One of the keys to handling uncertainty is to execute in short iterations. You might have fuzzy high-level plans, but your detailed plan should only be for the short-term. Then you can learn and adjust as you go along if and when you run into something unexpected.
Instead of trying to lose 50 pounds in a year, maybe your high-level goal could be to develop better lifestyle habits. Your short-term goal might be to take action designed to lose some weight in the next week. It’s a lot easier to stay motivated if you think in small iterations. Big goals can seem overwhelming, but often taking that first step is just what’s needed to get motivated. Then you can check at the end of the week to see if you lost weight and how much.
Make your specific and detailed plan just for your iteration, in this case, one week. Plan out the healthy meals you’ll make for yourself and what exercise you’ll do. Or, perhaps you’ll keep it simple by simply cutting out desserts. However, plan your details only for one week. Think of it as an experiment.
Reflect, Celebrate, Adapt
One of the most important parts of the Agile frameworks is to consistently reflect, learn, and improve. At the end of our iteration, we would take the time to measure to see if our short-term goal to lose some weight is being accomplished with the actions we’re taking.
Whether or not the goal of losing weight was achieved, what was learned? If you lost more than expected, how did it feel? How was your energy? If you didn’t lose any weight, what will you do differently next week?
Regardless of whether or not you lost weight, celebrate your complete week and what you learned in some way with a creative ceremony or ritual. Maybe share a new healthy recipe or go for a hike. Plan your meals and activities for the next week, taking into account what you learned. Personally, I’m incorporating a Self-Spa Sunday ritual, ending my week with a luxurious bubble-bath while I reflect on the ups and downs of the past week and anticipate my future week.
When the Unexpected Happens
Let’s say you have an unexpected injury and you can’t execute the short-term exercise plan you had in mind. Go back to the original purpose of your goal. You want to develop healthy life-style habits. Are there forms of exercise you can do, in spite of the injury? Can you adjust your meal plan for the next week to take into account the changes? Maybe your plan for the following week is to focus on PT or sleep to improve your overall health rather than trying to lose weight. Be flexible and adjust your short-term plans to take into account any changes, but keep your long-term end goals in mind.
I’ve used healthy habits and weight-loss as an example here, but you can use these techniques for any goal. Split big goals into smaller ones, and have fun while you learn, improve, grow and celebrate along the way.
I just LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the new year. I know, I know… it’s just like any other day and we shouldn’t “wait” to start improving ourselves, but I just get so much MoJo on January 1rst! And, honestly, I let my normally disciplined-self slack a bit in the last two weeks of the year. You know the drill… over-eat, over-drink, and generally slack on all my “goals”.. with the knowledge I’ll be super-motivated in the New Year to get back to my healthy habits!
One of those healthy habits that I’ve developed in the past couple of years is walking regularly, often while listening to inspiring podcasts. One of those podcasts is Optimal Living Daily where it was announced that 15 lucky people would receive a free OLD workbook for talking about self-care practices that have worked. I’m supposed to respond via Vibely, which is a fun app that offers challenges to the community, but.. this would be too long to type in an app! I’ll just send a link!
I’ve figured out that living a meaningful life is not just about where we physically go or what we do, but what is occupying our minds. We only have a finite number of days on this earth and I want to spend those days wisely by making intentional decisions about how I’m spending my time and who I’m spending it with. When I’m alone, my brain is still thinking and I want those to be POSITIVE thoughts!
By listening to Podcasts about positive life-style habits (such as Optimal Living Daily) and participating in various positive communities (such as those offered at Vibely) I’m regularly feeding my mind with positive ideas! I subscribe to positive newsletters, have taken 4 different really interesting courses about the Science of Happiness, have great self-help apps on my phone, and regularly interact with people who feed my soul.
Vibely, also, is fun, for people like me who love prompts and challenges! There’s an OLD (as in Optimal Living Daily.. not “senior”) community that you can find on Vibely and participating is just a really fun way to virtually meet like-minded people and follow through on your goals! My only feedback for this is that I wish there were a version for my laptop. I much prefer communicating with a full-size keyboard rather than the tiny keyboard on my (very small) phone.
All of this has changed my overall mindset to one which is much happier. Though I’ve heard it’s natural for our brains to first see the negative in the events of our day, these practices have helped me train my brain to naturally see the positive in each event… even things that in the past would have made me feel upset, I view as a challenge to find the positive. When I get criticism, it doesn’t feel good, but I now am much more able to be grateful rather than defensive about the feedback.
By the way, this isn’t the first time I’ve given a shout-out to the Optimal Living Daily podcast! It was also the spark that I needed to start my own podcast, Carpe Diem Connections!
Technology (Zoom) let my Mom see all her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren on Easter, 2020.
It’s the end of the year and time to wrap up Season 2 of Carpe Diem Connections and the Joy Makeover. This week Becky Burns and I talk about the Love/Hate Relationship many people have with technology.
Though technology can be frustrating, I’m grateful that it allowed us to have virtual family gatherings throughout the Pandemic.
With the New Year around the corner, you might want to check out Pamela’s suggestions for a year of positive technology with different themes each month.
The Joyspotters Society Facebook group is another great opportunity to experience social media at its finest. The posts are joyful, kind, and inspiring. So rather than “doomscrolling” why not do some “gleefreshing”? (For other new 2020 words, check out this quiz!)
We wrap up our podcast episode talking about the wonderful communities that are available that spread happiness, including ActionForHappiness.org.
This and other Websites that spread positivity can be found on the home page of this site, CarpeDiemDay.com.
Do you have a favorite Website, social media group, or app? Are there others you’d like featured on CarpeDiemDay.com? Join the discussion on the Carpe Diem Connections Facebook Group!
Let’s face it, this holiday season is tough for many people this year. Even in “normal” years, holidays can be tough because we all want to create this magical feeling – we want to create and experience joy. When we can’t celebrate with the people we’re missing or practice our traditional rituals, we can get frustrated, sad, or just spiral into depression.
In this week’s podcast, Becky Burns and I talk about our holiday experiences and how we hope to find joy during this season.
Creating new traditions or celebrating in new ways:
In the podcast, Becky talks about Kwanzaa being celebrated from Dec.26-Jan.1 and how each day represents a theme that we can use as a prompt to take action and find joy and meaning in our lives.
Count your blessings if your healthy enough to breath, eat, and get out of bed — because that’s loving yourself.
Ask someone how they are REALLY doing in a private conversation? Sometimes people are hurting but don’t post it on social media or tell you if you don’t ask. We simply assume they are okay because they appear content or show a happy face.
Say kind words to someone — we could all use a little more kindness right now.
Watch your religious services online.
Spend time in meditation or prayer so you can personally connect with God or your idea of the universal power that’s bigger than you.
Be a Secret Santa — bake cookies for a neighbor, drop off a plant, or send someone a card.
If you can afford it — donate to a food bank, toy drive, or give a gift card to someone you know is financially challenged.
Share one of your signature holiday recipes with those who won’t get to eat that dish at one of your annual gathers so they can still enjoy it. Food is love that nourishes the body and soul.
Look the people in your physical bubble in the eye and TELL them how much you love them. And call or zoom with your family and friends to do the same. One day those will be words they’ll rehear when they need to hear your voice–and there’s no better message than letting someone you love know you love them.
This week on the Carpe Diem Connections podcast, Becky Burns and I continue with the next topic in The Joy Makeover. We talk about foods that bring us joy and energy and how to be intentional about our eating habits.
We discuss the video interview between Ingrid Fetell Lee and Sarah Copeland and how coming from a mindset of abundance can help us resist overeating.
We each set goals for ourselves about how we could increase our joy with food and mine was to have a weekly new, healthy recipe. Becky suggested we check into Sarah Copeland’s recipes. What a great idea!
How do you make room in your home for Joy? Listen to this week’s episode of Carpe Diem Connections where we are talking about decluttering to make space for the things that bring us the most joy.
On this week’s episode of Carpe Diem Connections, Becky Burns and I continue exploring the link between Joy and our “stuff.”
Last week, we talked about finding more joy in experiences than things. This week in The Joy Makeover , Ingrid Fetell Lee talks to Gretchen Rubin, author of Outer Order, Inner Calm, about decluttering and how that can help us make more space for joy.
Tune in to hear our thoughts about clutter and how we plan to make more space in our homes. Then chime in with some of your own ideas on the Carpe Diem Connections Facebook Group page.
Flamingos have been my personal mascot for many years now. When Sarasota Jungle Gardens offered the opportunity to Adopt a Flamingo last April, I was so excited!
Because of Covid, the park was closed at that time, but I was very impressed with all the paperwork I received in the mail, telling me about my adopted flamingo, Kamikaze – “Kazi” #38.
A couple of weeks ago, my friend, Amy Sargent, posted a cute picture on Facebook of a flamingo “kissing” her and, upon further inspection of its tag with a photo zoom, we found out it was none other than #38 – Kazi! Imagine that! Without Amy even knowing I’d adopted a flamingo, she posts a very cute closeup picture with Kazi! Out of all the flamingos in the world, what are the chances?
There are many beautiful flamingos and birds at Sarasota Jungle Gardens and many that didn’t come out to greet the park visitors. How lucky for me that Kazi is so sociable and photogenic!
I get a chance to “flamingle” with Kazi and friends. I had them eating out of my hand!
I’ve been especially lonely for a pet lately. With all the travel that I usually do, it’s not very practical for me to own a pet, but this is a very cool alternative! Since I hope to make Sarasota a regular winter destination, I’ll be able to visit Kazi and his friends at least every year.
